roomate spelled backwards
by usagisnape
Summary: You just have to read it. It is complete and just a weird little story.


It is a dark night in a dark dank room. There are only a few candles giving off minimal light. A cloaked figure stands at a bubbling cauldron his gloved hand stirs the grey ooze slowly. Suddenly there is a pop and a hiss, the ooze turns a crimson red and a steam cloud moves upward from the black pot and makes the undeniable figure of a woman.

"Aww bloody hell, that can't be good." The tall elongated body leans over and picks up a yellow and black soft cover book. He flips a couple of pages and throws the book to the ground. He lifts his gloved hand and seems to be rubbing at his face hidden inside his hood. A short pudgy hunched man makes his way to the tall figure.

"Master," the hood turns sharply and a long gloved finger points at him. "Sorry, My lord what is wrong?"

"Besides the fact that I never should have let you watch those old muggle horror movies. I will have to take the body of a woman, bloody, Dark Potions for Idiots."

"Are you sure mas .. My lord? Maybe we could do the potion again."

"It had taken me three months to get this far, how does Severus do it? No I think maybe it is time to move forward for witch rights." He steps forward and rises a gloved fist, his voice deepens and projects around the room reverberating off the walls. "What better way than to have a witch as the dark lord." He raises his fist high in the air as in triumph.

"Wait wouldn't you be a dark lady? A lord is a man, the female counterpart is the lady." The tall figure steps back and quiets his voice again, coming back to a conversational voice.

"Well now a dark lady doesn't sound scary at all, actually it sound like a night club."

"I think your thinking about the Shady Lady. We went there about a month ago."

"Maybe, well anyway, I have to have a female body, and I will rule as a woman." He laughs an evil cackle and then there is a disgusting wet splat sound. "Bullocks, my ear has fallen off. Wormtail, if you don't mind." The little man makes a face of disgust and bends down to pick it up.

  
  


Meanwhile back at Hogwarts ...

  
  


A huge crowd is gathered for what is considered one of the greatest graduations ever. The golden trio, the dream team, the three musketeers are finally graduating and Filch has bells on. Literally.

"Now witches and wizards, ladies and gentlemen, our school caretaker Argus Filch will perform the ancient dance of happiness for the graduating seventh years. It is said that the dance must be performed in order for leaving students to be happy in their upcoming lives. Lets have a round of applause for Argus Filch."

You can hear crickets.

"Well, I don't care if your happy, I'm just glad you're out of here, good riddance." He throws the bells down on the ground and turns to the dream team. He lifts his hand and shows them two fingers, then turns and walks off back to his cat. Dumbledore coughs.

"Well, thank you Argus, let's just hope that they don't actually need the dance of happiness. Well lets get on with it then. Well will be calling the graduates up in a random order so that we can draw out the suspense as long as possible as leave the three you want to see for last." Mcgonagall then began calling students, starting with the ones that no one even knows existed, then she gets to the ones that are somewhat well known, such as Justin Flitch-fletchy and Blaise Zambini. The next group called up are the students most thought of as the villains, Pansy Parkinson, Millicent Bulstrode, Crabbe and Goyle. Of course the last of this group is Draco Malfoy, whose name is followed by hisses and boo's.

"Dad?"

"Sorry Drac son, just got caught up in the moment," Draco slinks off the stage with a pouty expression on his face. Finally Mcgonagall calls Ron Weasley, who can't believe he is before Hermione. He walks across the stage and shakes each teacher's hand in turn. Professor Snape is, of course, the last teacher in line. Ron grimaces before he shakes hand. Snape follows the handshake with a liberal amount of hand sanitizer. He is waiting with bated breath for the next graduate. He so wants to tell her how well she has done, how proud he is that she has become the brightest witch to ever graduate Hogwarts. They call her name and he watches as she walks across smiling in turn to each teacher. When she finally reaches him all he can say in congratulations. Of course that is more than he said to anyone else. She smiles at him and says thank you. She steps off the stage and before Harry's name can be called Hermione disappears. 

The crowd is running around crazy looking for her and Harry, because he is so amazingly understanding, doesn't say anything about the fact that he didn't get to graduate. No one is there to see him anyway. 

  
  


It has been two days and no one had seen Hermione. Everyone is distraught and no one knows what has happened. Dumbledore interrogates everyone in the school and everyone that was at the graduation, he checks to be sure that everyone is who they say they are, no polyjiuce potion here. Harry takes it on himself to find Hermione and leaves the school alone. Severus contacts all the deatheaters that he knows but none of them know anything, at all, some of them don't even know their own names anymore. Severus's arms flares up in pain. He grabs his cloak and mask and takes off to the apparition point. 

Severus appears in a majestic room, complete with chaise lounges and other expensive furniture. There is an upper level to the room which is blocked off by shoji screens. Severus makes his way toward the screen. From a side door Harry walks in. 

"Professor Snape, Our lord wishes to see you."

"Our lord Potter, have you gone mad? This is the man that killed your family." Harry smirks at him.

"Oh you will understand soon enough." Harry walks up to the screen and stands next to it. The figure behind the screen gets closer and Severus can make out the perfect figure of a woman. "You must bow down before our lord." Severus gets down to his hands and knees and waits. He hears the screen sliding open but doesn't dare to look up. His eyes are open and staring at the intricate designs on the carpet when a bright red leather boot is put in front of his eyes. He follows the boots up to the knee and then to fishnets encasing a perfect pair of legs. His face is at her hips and he sees a red leather g-string. He moves further up her body to a red leather corset and a beautiful pair of breasts spilling out over the top. There is a long pale neck and long pale arms and the face of his angel, Hermione Granger. Her mess of hair is wild and uncontrolled and she has a smug look on her face.

"Like what you see Severus." She purrs at him.

"Ms. Granger?" He is talking in a whisper.

"Yes and no, I am Lord Voldemort and Hermione Granger."

"How is this possible?"

"A little known potion that lets my spirit inhabit the body of another."

"Of course the etammoor spell. Where did you find it?" Her/his face dropped slightly. He/she raised the volume of their voice to sound more impressive.

"That doesn't matter, what matters is that I am invincible now and I need to know if you are with me?"

"What do I get out of this?"

"What?" Voldemort/Hermione's voice dropped back down.

"Well, I mean, how does this work? What is the situation here?"

  
  


So the new Voldemort/Hermione or Hervoldemine as she told everyone to call her, sat down with Severus Snape and Harry Potter to discuss the new situation. Hervoldemine was an excellent leader, she seemed to be the perfect combination between the two people. She made it clear that Harry was not to be harmed, however she didn't mind killing . The first thing she did when she was reborn was kill wormtail. She gathered the two strongest wizards she knew to her side. She still had the absolute hatred for Dumbledore that Tom Riddle always had. So he would have to go. Of course Hermione's hatred of the Malfoy clan wiped them off the wizarding map as well. Together the three of them ruled over the wizard world and everyone found that life was better, granted they found the way their new leader dressed a bit off-putting, but once you got around that she was a pretty good guy. The attraction that Hermione had for Severus, as well as the well suppressed feelings that Voldemort had for him made Severus the object of Hervoldemine's affections. Luckily for Snape this new creature had Voldemorts sexual taste so he was never bored with typical Gryffindor sex. Harry was safe to do whatever he wanted and the wizarding world quit looking to him as their savior so he played quidditch professionally, experimented with sex and is living with Severus and Hervoldemine as one of their play things. Harry never did get his diploma. 


End file.
